


Forgiven

by Spacewaffles07



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Angst, Canon Rewrite, Eventual Romance, F/M, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Implied/Referenced Torture, Slavery, Torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-08
Updated: 2020-12-08
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:35:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27960887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spacewaffles07/pseuds/Spacewaffles07
Summary: It's been a year since the crew has joined up with the rebel fleet. When Sabine and Ezra get stranded on Tatooine after a failed mission, they must struggle to survive their unforgiving conditions, and simultaneously deal with their own honesty with each other.
Relationships: Ezra Bridger/Sabine Wren, Kanan Jarrus/Hera Syndulla
Kudos: 5





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warning: potentially disturbing content is in this story. Mature themes, language, and violence are covered in mostof these chapters. Please read with caution. Additional warnings will be included for more intense chapters.

_POINT OF VIEW: UNKNOWN_

I brought my fist furiously against the table, causing the various trinkets to shake and a box of tabloids to scatter. I snarled viciously.

It’s easy to get frustrated when dealing with vermin. Simple instruction is sucked up by the dry, dusty air, and never meets the ear of the scrawny flesh-bag that cowers on the other side of the desk.

"What do you mean trade's low?" I growled, re-examining the list. No matter how many times my eyes scanned the data on the outdated control pad, the lack of incoming supply never failed to disappoint me, and somehow surprise me each time I reread it.

My insides felt so hot they were almost cold. For the amount of failure this child has brought my once steady market, one would think I’d be used to the disappointment. I thought he was promising, so it’s my own fault, really. Perhaps he still is.

Even if there is promise and potential, the numbers simply won’t allow for anymore flukes, accidents, or failures. I can’t afford anymore loss.

I looked across at the young boy in front of me, his scruffy black hair hanging in his gold eyes, bright and wide, full of fear. Sitting behind that fear, however, was vigor. A rage that poorly manifests in such a broken frame.

His fear is such a dominating part of his very being that I'm surprised he's still alive.

"That's what Boldis told me! We have an increased demand! There’s a need for more shipments because of a peak in clientele. Some anonymous inquiries have offered to pay an extra twenty-five percent of what we normally require!" the boy exclaimed. His voice was quite unbearable, early teenage development torturing him in earnest.

The boy was fight a smile, which was wise. His joy at his own news was only pride that he had the privilege to deliver it.

“The extra credits-“

“I don’t need you to rattle off your ideas, boy, I need you to listen to me!” I instructed.

His jaw tightened, and the spark was extinguished, as it should be. Sparks can lead to bigger fires that spread beyond our control.

“Do you even have a plan for how to handle the increase in new buyers?” I prodded, walking to the other side of my desk. The light in the room was low, flickering a sickly yellow. The scent was thick and stale, the sweat from the young boy the only real thing permeating in the room. “If we don’t have the appropriate stock on hand, those buyers will have _nothing to buy!_ ”  
My voice was raised now, and the urgency of what I said finally hit the poor thing, his legs trembling slightly. As always, he feigned toughness and stood rigid still.

I looked down at the list again, and sighed in aggravation. He already couldn’t do a simple job without screwing something up.

I took a low breathe, and sighed, the dust particles sent flying. “We’re already behind. We can’t afford to make false promises to clients if we can’t follow through.”

He said nothing. His feet shifted, and his bright eyes fluttered, looking dead ahead at the desk and not at me. “I know. I understand that-“

"-our numbers will have to increase?" I finished, squinting at the pathetic boy in front of me. “It’s not that simple.” I had maintained the fury inside, but because this happened quite frequently, I knew it would only be so long before my patience ran out.

His face was livid with fear, and I knew why. It was because my relaxed expression was slowly hardening into a scowl. He didn’t understand what missing information I was alluding to, the crucial detail he was glossing over.

“The value in the products can’t be our standard in-take. It’s not numbers alone that will matter, but the quality in the supply.”

“So what exactly am I looking for?”

“Something that’s going to redeem the market I’ve spent years building, and redeem you. I can’t afford any more of your shortcomings, so this one will be the last.”

Long ago he figured out the talking back and disobedience results in punishment. As he was gifted more responsibility, he punishments were the aftermath of failed expeditions. The faded, white outlines of scars were shallow on his young face, mementos from the kid's "trial and error".

He didn’t answer, so prompted again, heading towards the boy in case he needed a reminder of how little I tolerate his silence. “Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes sir,” he said sharply. There was a hint of arrogance behind his fear. Nonetheless, he would flinch slightly every time my boots would clunk against the floor. This amused me. The Mandalorian scum, fearing me.

How could such a once powerful people produce such a runt? It wasn’t nearly as satisfying domineering such weak blood.

"Bring in a new shipment by the end of the month. Understand boy?" I asked, shoving the list back in the boy's hands, making him stumble backwards. Despite the loss of balance, he remained on his feet. He was silent, his fumble still dazing him.

"Aje, do you understand?!" I snarled, before he nodded vigorously.

I slapped him hard across the face, but it hardly moved him.

"You will answer me when I speak to you," I muttered through clenched teeth. I stepped back, overlooking the boy once more.

I could hear him breathing in and out sharply, eyes still tightly shut. The child swallowed tentatively, and opened his golden eyes that grew ever dimmer. His hand twitched at his side, fighting to bring it to his tender, red cheek.

Standing up straighter, and speaking in a shaking voice he firmly replied, "Yes sir."


	2. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ezra and Sabine are sent on a mission to retrieve a holodisc. As per usual, they’re not very good at cooperating.

_POINT OF VIEW: EZRA BRIDGER_

"Shit shit shit shit shit-" I exclaimed, after recovering from the blow we took from the enemy ship. I couldn’t decide what was worse; how terrible the mission was going, or the usage of colorful vocabulary resulting in me getting a hard _thwack_ in the side of the head.

"Hey!" I snapped, shooting my co pilot an aggravated glare, "What the krif was that for?!"

I pulled an evasive maneuver despite my distraction. The plan was get in, get out, go home, but unfortunately our simple mission was compromised.

By my copilot.

As incredible as she can be sometimes, her need to leave a detailed artwork behind only for her to blow it up later has gotten us into trouble as of late.

Sabine Wren has a lot of faith in her teammates - hell, even me. However, her easily distracted nature results in a close call on her life...frequently.

Today is one of those days. The mural was breathtaking, as always, but the constraints under which she tries to finish these projects are never appropriate for the size of the wall she chooses. And now, we’re being tailed by a dozen TIE fighters.

“Okay maybe DON’T smack the one piloting the ship?” I suggested cheekily. My hands were griping the steering so hard my knuckles were becoming numb.

"For the language, Ezra!" she laughed. A large _BOOM_ was heard outside the ship.

Thanks to Hera and her seriousness on the younger members of the crew using “foul” language and whether or not it’s appropriate, Sabine has been nonstop teasing me every time I let a swear slip.

In fairness, I do it back. We’ll use every word we know in the book - and then some, since Zeb has taught us more than the both of us knew combined - and rattle them off within earshot of our poor surrogate mom for a laugh.

I shook my head and returned my focus back to piloting the Phantom. “Now’s not the time for a running joke Sabine!”

It was supposed to be simple.

Get in, get out.

“Hey hotshot, can’t you do something that eliminates the threat?” Sabine sputtered hastily, trying to restart the weak shields of the Phantom.

A TIE zoomed into my peripheral, maintaining our speed at left of the ship.

I reversed sharply, sending both Sabine and I lurching forward, sending the TIEs far ahead of us.

Hoping my quick reaction time would allow for accuracy, I fired.

Two TIEs down.

I didn’t have long to celebrate, because the ship shuddered as it suffered a another blow from a TIE Fighter behind us.

Karabast, they just don't stop coming.

"Shit!" I exclaimed, thrusting the ship forward in hopes of outrunning the increasing number of enemies on our tails.

“Hey!” Sabine exclaimed, jumping out of her copilots chair. She bounded towards the back of the ship, eyes glittering with excitement. “Open the back hatch!”

I know that look. She has a bad idea.

But damn, I love how she looks when she gets one of those wild idea. Her spunky hair hung in her face, her cheeks a flushed pink-

Shit. Not now. Focus.

I scoffed, and began to laugh, remembering Sabine's agitated look from earlier. Oh, how quickly her mood shifts when she has mass destruction of the empire on her brain. "Did you know that you're adorable when you have a crazy idea?” I smirked.

“Can you do it? I just need-“

“As much as I would love to indulge that absolutely insane concept, we’re going way too fast to open any part of the ship. So no can do,” I laughed nervously. “Do you have any ideas that result in us living?”

Sabine merely rose a perfectly arched eyebrow. “Since when are you the brains of this operation?”

“Never suggested I was,” I said cheekily. “Unless the thought of dying by my side enticed you into forgetting about the physics outside the ship? In that case, I’m promoted to brains.”

I couldn’t see her expression, but I could hear her huff, followed by the metal clanking of the floor hitting her boots as she stomped her way back to the co pilots chair.

“Romantic right?”

It completely goes against my nature to deescalate the situation, so I egged her on.

"Oh grow up!" she exclaimed, throwing her hands up in defeat, before she poked me hard in the chest with her index finger. "You're going to get us killed because you feel the need to piss me off with your constant - and unsuccessful, mind you - attempts to FLIRT!" she burst, seeming to cram the mouthful of words into one single sentence. Only Sabine had the temper to do it.

I could barely contain my amusement. I shook my head and shrugged, "Lot of talk coming from the girl who planned a romantic suicide pact." I paused, a sinister grin stretching across my face. "Maybe I will open the hatch," I said quickly.

"Okay asshole, if you can’t focus on piloting the ship, I’ll do it!" she exclaimed in irritation. I was tempted to push another button, since hers are so easy to press, but when I opened my mouth her hand twitched suspiciously, so I clamped shut. But that didn't muffle my laughter.

My flying was getting increasingly worse as this entire conversation happened over the top of it. It was mostly just speeding away from the fighters as fast as I could, dodging the gunfire as best I could.

My attempt at witty banter didn’t ever get me far with Sabine. I’m convinced she finds it endearing...or at least maybe she once did, when I was young and wasn’t at her eye level yet. But, as time has gone on, I’m starting to believe that maybe her responses aren’t banter, or sarcasm, or jokes...

Maybe she genuinely doesn’t like me.

Not even just romantically, but at all. She always protests when we’re put on a mission together, or when we get paired up for data analysis, and she never hesitates to complain that she’s stuck with me when we have to reorganize the storage.

I had thought about asking her that much, at least. Are we friends? Could she at least grant me that? Could I ever-

"EZRA!” she shouted, startling me out of my wandering thoughts, because a TIE had just taken out our left thruster, causing the ship to start plummeting in downwards in a tight spiral.

In a panic, my eyes roved over the control panel, and because of my fear, I blanked out on how to control the ship.

I hurriedly reached for my comm, and fumbled for a minute until I found the button, keeping one hand on the steering, to no avail. "SPECTOR 2, WE ARE GOING DOWN! I REPEAT, WE ARE GOING DOWN!" I shouted frantically, noticing that the surface of Tatooine was getting too close for comfort.

Of course of all the planets we were sent to for a recon mission, it had to be this horrible, desolate dustball.

I heard momentary static, before a reply came through. "Spector 5 and 6, are you alright?" Hera asked; she sounded afraid.

"No, the left thruster is out," I shook my head incredulously, "I think we're going to crash!"

My eyes darted out the window, noticing the dry barren land of Tatooine rushing up to meet us.

I looked over to my co pilot, wondering if she would be the last thing I’d ever see.

Too afraid of the possibility, I shut my eyes.

* * *

_POINT OF VIEW: HERA SYNDULLA_

"Spector 5 and 6 come in!" I begged. Only static.

They crashed. They must have.

I clamped a hand over my mouth, the panic beginning to take over.

We were stationed right above them. We had to go find them.

The door to the room opened with a hiss, and there was Kanan, poking his head in. His green eyes shimmered innocently, unaware of the horror I had just heard through the static.

“Everything okay? Have the kids checked in yet?” he prodded.

My eyes fluttered, my gaze locked with his.

“They-they uh, they-“ I sputtered. The truth hadn’t caught up with me yet. I didn’t want it to. I was trying to out run it, out run the knowledge that we sent them out alone, and no one was there to help them, and they might not be alive anymore-

“Hey.”

In the time I had dealt with the flurry of emotions, Kanan was by my side. He gently put his hands on my shoulders, his grasp firm, but tender. “Everything okay?”

I suddenly remembered how to breathe.

“No. Kanan-“ I started, but my throat closed up, trying to force me to swallow the words. “Kanan , I- I don’t...the phantom,” I rambled. “I think we lost them,” I gasped.

* * *

_POINT OF VIEW: SABINE WREN_

Dark. Everything is dark.

But shit I can feel everything right now.

I know I’m not dead. My body hurts too much for me to be dead.

I tried to force my body out of its comatose state.

Everything is so hot. I can feel the skin on my face getting broiled by the hot suns in the sky. It feels tight, like the life has been sucked out of me.

How long have I been laying here?

I tried to shift my body, only to be met with resistance from my muscles, pain spiking up in protest. It felt like there was a weight pressing on my entire body despite no wreckage covering me. I felt heavy. I felt hot.

Where is here?

I blinked slowly, my eyes stinging from the bright light that shone directly overhead. Sand rolled off my cheeks as a came too. It was on my eyelashes - I could feel myself blinking away the sand as I adjusted to the harshness of daylight on Tatooine. My face and neck stung of a sunburn.

Ezra...where is Ezra?

I bolted upright, and gasped in pain, forgetting about the rough landing we made. I didn’t dwell on the pain for long, because I was too concerned with finding my lost crew mate.

Much to my surprise, I didn’t have to look long, because he was perched on a splintered crate, dressing a wound on his ankle.

Ezra heard my stirring, and met my confused gaze with his soft, but forlorn one. “You’re up,” he said flatly.

I blinked incredulously. “How long have you been awake?”

“About 5 hours. You’re head looked a little banged up, so I figured it wouldn’t be a good idea to wake you sooner than you were ready,” he explained gently.

Curious, I brought a hand to my forehead, and found bandages beneath my fingers.

Then like a wave, it came rushing back. The jokes, the teasing, the distractions, and the crash. I remembered how deeply Ezra appeared to be dissociating while piloting the Phantom before its final moments. He wasn’t paying attention. And we both payed for it.

I felt blood in my body turn hot, and my breathe quicken. The temporary tenderness I had for my crew mate quickly dissipated, and was replaced with fury.

Without any second thought, I sprung to my feet, ignoring the rhythmic pounding in my head that demanded I return to the ground. I picked a direction, and I walked.

"Wha-? Where are you going?!" Ezra called to me.

I ignored him, and continued stomping away, my boots leaving sandy prints in the ground.

"We can't just leave the Phantom here! We have to get in contact with Hera! She'll come and get us!" he pleaded. “And! You’re literally concussed! You should not be walking right now!”

He ran to catch up with the distance I had on him. “Let’s just work on repairing the comms, and wait-“

"NO!" I exclaimed, flipping around to face him. In all my anger, I closed the distance between us and shoved him onto the ground. He looked no longer annoyed, but afraid.

"This is YOUR FAULT!" I said through clenched teeth. "If you had been focusing on steering the ship back to The Ghost, WE WOULD BE THERE, RIGHT NOW!"

I could feel my nostrils flaring, and I could feel the daggers behind my eyes. But he fought back with daggers all his own.

He opened his mouth to retort, but I cut him off, not willing to put up with his excuse.

"You say another word, and your stupid, fucking head will be on the other side of Tatooine."

Ezra's eyes widened. My own eyes widened too. It was an empty threat, of course, but the words felt poisonous the second they hit my tongue.

I felt guilt form in the pit of my stomach, until it tightened into a knot. I didn't like being intentionally cruel, especially not to Ezra. I'll snap at Hera; she blows it off. I'll burst out at Kanan; he doesn't care. I'll yell at Zeb; he laughs.

Ezra gets a look on his face. His cheerful, obnoxious grin melts into shame, and a hollowness that sits in his eyes.

I am unfortunate the cause of this look ninety-five percent of the time.

I jumped a little when he muttered, "Why do you hate me?"

I hadn't expected him to say a word after my demeaning threat.

I relaxed, my expression softening. I wanted to backpedal as fast as I could. I wanted up to snap back into our normal dynamic, like it never happened. "Ezra-"

"No! Fuck-Sabine, if you hate me just, just TELL ME SO, okay?" Tears were welling up in his blue eyes. Were those tears? I could never tell. His eyes always glittered.

“I get it,” he conceded, tossing his hands up weakly. “You don’t have to pretend with me. The rest of the crew isn’t here, so you don’t have to pretend to be my friend.”

He ran his gloves through his raven locks, taking a breath. My chest felt tight, and heavy with shame.

“I know I’m the last person you wanted to be stuck with, but please work with me long enough for us to get home,” he pleaded.

Shit.

I don't do feelings.

I mean, I have feelings. I just prefer not to use them, because I usually end up in situations like this. I overstep when I think too hard about my feelings. So it’s better to simply turn them off, and save people the trouble of putting out with my explosive emotions.

And yet, somehow Ezra manages to unearth them, despite how hard I try to keep them buried.

Ezra quickly wiped the underside of his eyes, and stood up, striding right past me, and towards...well, nowhere.

So he had been crying.

Great.

I curled my lips inward until they formed a straight line, and huffed out a sigh.

Now I have more than one thing to fix today.

* * *

_POINT OF VIEW: EZRA BRIDGER_

I wish the sand would swallow me whole, burying me, hiding me from the rest of the universe.

Sabine has a natural ability of picking the words that hurt in a very special way. It’s worse when she’s right.

I walked quickly, trying to keep a minimum distance of 10 feet between me and Sabine.

I don't quite know where I was walking, but I thought maybe we could find some help.

Something. Anything.

But she was right. We were here because of me. I was distracted with piloting, thinking about how Sabine felt about me, of all things, and managed to space out long enough for a TIE fighter to land a blow on us.

In fairness, the reason with were getting tailed so diligently was because of Sabine’s failure to follow the time limit because of her artwork she left behind for the empire.

I could still hear her shuffling behind me a few paces.

The sooner we were rescued, the sooner I could escape the holes she was burning in the back of my head.

Earlier we had gone back to salvage some supplies, because we figured we would need some sort of life support out here in the unforgiving, barren lands of Tatooine. Food, med kit, comms, and anything else that wasn’t destroyed in the crash. Whatever remained was stuffed in our respective packs, and we began our trek to find help.

We also knew we couldn’t just wait around for help to come.

Because of her easily identifiable paint job that she failed to set off, the empire probably already had a good idea of who they were looking for, so we knew we had to keep moving, and stay out of sight. We knew we had to be careful about where we asked for help. For all we knew, the entirety of Tatooine was given the news about a bounty on the heads of a few rebels.

I dragged my boots through the heavy sand, my eyes never leaving the ground.

You had one job.

* * *

I nestled myself closer to the pillow in the cold, makeshift tent.

Hot during the days, cold during the nights. That's how Tatooine works.

I could hear the silent snores of Sabine next to me. It was oddly soothing.

Our backs were touching slightly, so I shifted away. She’d be mortified if she knew we were that close in our sleep.

I felt a shiver travel up my spine, the new space between me and the girl besides me.

I pulled the blanket over my cold body, and felt Sabine shudder on the other side of me.

I sat up a little, just enough so I could see over my shoulder, our makeshift cot crinkling beneath up as a adjusted.

She was curled up into a little ball, only a small amount of the blanket covering her.

I had grown bigger than her now. A year really changed me, believe it or not. There even came a time when I got taller than her. She didn't exactly like that, since she was used to the small, scrawny kid that attempted to steal from them a few years ago.

Now I was almost a whole head taller than she was. I was bigger, and a little larger in stature now.

Which was why I was taking up more of the blanket.

Silently, I lifted the entire blanket off of me, then wrapped it around her so she was fully covered with every inch of the blanket. I already felt bad that my zoning out cost us the mission. I can only imagine her fury if she discovered she was the distraction.

Returning to my side of the cot, I heard Sabine stir.

"Ezra?" she asked quietly. Her voice was low and gravely, and I could hardly make out her words. "Aren't you cold?"

"No," I lied, bringing my knees closer to my chest. "You need that more than I do."

I hoped she would accept the nice gesture, roll over, and go back to sleep.

If I was lucky, the frigid night would kill me before Sabine would.

"Turn around," she commanded.

I suddenly didn't feel safe in the tent alone with her anymore.

Hesitantly, I rotated around, so I lay on my side, the two of us facing each other. I couldn’t bring myself to meet her eyes. Our confrontation earlier was already more than I had bargained for, so I was hardly prepared for another discussion.

“Look at me,” she commanded. I didn’t dare disobey.

Her golden eyes were the most visible thing in the darkness.

By the force, she was the loveliest thing in the galaxy.

I finally was the one to break the silence. I caught her mid-breath, hoping to have my own questions answered instead.

"Do you hate me?" I whispered, while rotating onto my back. The faded green linen above us was covered with ash, and littered with holes. Faint stars twinkled through the slashed tent. "I know you would lie to me if that was the only thing I asked," I sighed heavily. "You don't seem to understand how much I care about you. Sabine, I’m trying to be a good team mate...” I trailed off. “And I’m trying to be a good friend too. But I don’t feel like you even see me as that. And even then, I know that I’m not exactly subtle about the way I feel about you. It started out kind of silly, and innocent, but now. Now things," I paused, propping myself up so I could look over at Sabine. "Things are different.

"And yet," I continued, "I still feel like you treat me as that fourteen-year-old you picked up off of Lothal."

She wasn’t looking at me. For all I knew, she wasn’t even listening.

Her silence was telling, so I flopped onto my back. “So that’s why I ask. Cause even if you don’t like me, or even want to be friends, at the very least, do you hate me?” I asked, as sincerely as I could manage. If that train of thought was going to be the cause of all this, then fine. I think I at least deserve an answer.

I almost gasped when she scooted closer and nuzzled into my chest.

That’s...not even close to the response I expected.

"I'm sorry, Ezra,” she sighed. “I shouldn't have gotten mad. I shouldn't have yelled, I shouldn't have pushed you, I shouldn't have done a lot of things."

I froze when I felt her lips meet my cheek, the sudden warmth flooding to that one spot.

"You certainly are nothing like that kid we picked up on Lothal," she smiled.

I returned her smile.

“Much scruffier,” she laughed, reaching up to ruffle my hair. I laughed with her, the moment feeling warm and bright.

“Maybe if you work hard enough I’ll give you a turn being the brains of the-“

She never got to finish her sentence.

Because I was kissing her.

She didn't respond, she kind of just sat there, in complete astonishment.

When I parted from her, we looked each other in the eyes for a moment-

Before she shoved me off of her.

She scurried away from me, horrified, like she had seen a phantom.

I felt the heat rise to my face, shame pooling in my stomach. I had read it all wrong! And now, after all that effort to reconcile, my efforts are toppled by my need for her.

I brought a hand to my chest where she had shoved me, before looking up at her with remorse.

"I am so sorry!" I sputtered. I couldn’t find words fast enough. “I shouldn’t have-“

"Yeah, no SHIT Ezra!"

"I’m sorry, it’s just, you kissed me first, and I misunderstood-"

"That was a friendship kiss!"

"How was i supposed to figure that out?"

I huffed, then flopped onto my back.

She did the same.

Images flashed through my head, quicker than I could process. Tender embraces, shared secrets, tightly clinging onto one another longer than any real friends would.

There was conflict. Part of me was confused, and almost outraged at her mixed signals. One minute she was soft and loving to me, and when I would reciprocate, she pulled away in shock and horror. However, this complicated feeling was paired with guilt. Part of me had already conceded that she didn’t want me the same way I wanted her, and that I was the source of the problem for pushing this narrative on her.

I narrowed my eyes and squinted at her. She shot me back the same look.

I didn’t make a smart choice, letting my rage and entitlement show through.

"You know what? I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I’m the only one out of the two of us who knows how to feel emotions like love, or empathy, or anything like that!” I snapped. “You do nothing but make it clear to the rest of us how unworthy we are to be held at the same standard as you. But at least I know how to feel! At least there’s not something wrong with me!”

“STOP!”

The fire in her golden eyes was almost satisfying. Invigorating, almost. Knowing I had hit her in the place that mattered to her.

My body was trembling, like I was on an adrenaline high.

But as quickly as it came, it went away.

Sabine stayed rigid and unmoving, but I could see her deflate. Even she couldn’t maintain composure for long. Her eyes were glittering and glassy, and holding back tears.

She was breathing steady, but her breath quivered every time she exhaled. “For the record,” she spoke in a hushed voice, “I never hated you.”

I should’ve been satisfied hearing those words. But I wasn’t.

I wish she wanted me the way I wanted her. But even then, we weren’t even really friends. Maybe I didn’t want to be.

I rolled onto my side, away from my teammate.

“You know, maybe you had the right idea before.” I continued against my better judgment. “Hating each other might just be easier,” I said sharply.

I waited for a snarky reply, for her to shout, for anything.

But nothing ever came.


	3. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ezra and Sabine try to decide if surviving the desert will be harder than surviving each other, and discover there’s a much bigger threat on the horizon.

_POINT OF VIEW: EZRA BRIDGER_

_She looked up at me , her golden eyes holding filled with sorrow, and fear._

_I didn’t know where I was. Everything was bright, and sterile. There was oddly no smell._

_"You're not the bad guy Ezra! Please don't do this!" she begged, tears welling up in her eyes._

_My fingers trembled as they rested over the blaster trigger._

_"EZRA! NO!" I hears a woman's voice say._

_I felt my chest muscles tighten, as I breathed in and out heavily. My grip on the gun loosened; I afraid my own hands would betray me. Some subconscious part of me hoped they would._

_A single tear rolled down Sabine's cheek, as she silently pleaded with me to stop, while she struggled against the ropes that held her hands behind her back._

_"I have to," I whispered, almost unable to let the words escape my throat._

_Any hesitation in my body fled, and that cold, sterile feeling penetrated my body._

_Before I understood this void feeling that was buzzing in my skull, I pulled the trigger, and the gun went off with a bang._

* * *

"NO!" I screamed my lungs filling rapidly with the dusty air of Tatooine; a harsh reminder of where we still were stranded. I bolted upright, the horror of my own actions turning my blood cold.

I was panting heavily, and I had broken out in a cold sweat.

I brought my knees to my chest, listening to the loud pounding in my ears, growing louder and louder.

A strange taste suddenly filled my mouth, and knowing what was coming next, I fled from the tent.

* * *

After the escapade my food bars made, I sat out in the middle of the desert, my arms hugging my knees. Dust blew past me, the winds low but warm. The suns had barely started peaking over the horizon, making the sky a hazy orange, blending into a soft violet.

My hands were trembling, the images of my nightmare replaying themselves again and again in my head. The tension in my shoulders as I held the blaster. The cold metal touching my bare fingers. The void that filled me as I looked her in the eyes.

I killed her. I pulled the trigger.

 _No_.

It was a dream.

Maybe it was a vision.

I nervously ran a hand through my hair, the second possibility becoming much scarier than the first.

It just seemed so real. Yet, surreal at the same time. So vivid.

The woman's voice. It sounded vaguely familiar. Maybe Hera? Would she have come to rescue us?

_Would she fail?_

Why did I shoot Sabine? Why would I hurt her?

"Ezra?" a voice called to me. Hearing my name snapped me out of my trance with a jump. I looked over to our makeshift tent that stood pathetically against the dunes, and there was Sabine, emerging with sleep in her voice, and worry in her voices.

I turned back around, facing the nothingness in front of me.

"...are you, okay?" Sabine asked timidly.

I didn’t dare answer. I didn’t want to relive the nightmare while explaining it to her. How do you even explain the kind of dream I had to someone else?

She plopped down in front of me and grabbed the sides of my face roughly. "You don’t think I can hear you from the tent? You’re sick! You look like it, you sound like it..." she trailed over, examining my sickly frame with concern. Her eyes darted over my body, most likely looking for an infection or wound, or any cause of my illness.

I didn't meet her gaze as she did this. I didn’t have the heart to explain to her that I wasn’t injured, or infected, but dreaming. Instead, I looked down at my hands, fearful of the possibility that they would hold a weapon to Sabine's head.

I stuttered random syllables. I didn't want to tell her.

"Ezra! Please, you’re scaring me! If I need to get the med kit, just tell me where-" she begged, grabbing my shoulders.

"Sabine," I whispered, cutting her off. “I wouldn’t ever hurt you, I just hope you know that. I wouldn’t, I don’t-“ I trailed off.

I wouldn’t.

I couldn’t.

_I could never._

Her eyes widened with disbelief. "What the hell Ezra? Are you having a fucking heat stroke or something?"

The outside of my vision was becoming fuzzy and gray, and I could hear my heartbeat growing louder and louder. "I don’t think I’m safe, Sabine.” My shaking hand reach towards my belt, where my blaster sat on its holster. “Just please-"

"NO!" she shouted, jerking the gun away from me, but I pulled right back.

It must have happened too fast. Next thing I knew, Sabine had me pinned on my back, and the gun we had been fighting over long gone.

"WHAT THE FUCK EZRA? What is wrong with you?" Sabine screamed, her eyes starting to tear up. “For someone who just insisted they weren’t going to hurt me, it’s a little fucking suspicious that you’re reaching for your blaster!” Sabine snapped accusingly.

"I-I don't want to hurt you," I stuttered, allowing myself to cry. “I just wanted you to keep it with you instead! I don’t trust myself with it, okay?”

She let go of my wrists, now sore from her tight grip. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?" she whispered.

"I-," I swallowed hard, "I shot you."

"You shot me?" she asked in disbelief. “The gun isn’t anywhere near us Ezra. You didn’t shoot me.” She laughed. How could she be laughing? “For a second there I almost thought you would.”

"Sabine, I-I love you more than anyone else in the world and the last thing I want to do is hurt you," I whispered, gently pushing her off of me. I took a breath, the clouds in my head beginning to clear. I needed to get a grip on myself. “I’m sorry, I haven’t explained myself properly-“

"Save your confessions for another time," she snarled, standing up abruptly. "Do you really think that now is an appropriate time to be making advances on me? After last night?" Sabine interrogated.

I felt myself boil under my skin. I stood up as well, and I now had the advantage in this fight; I surpassed her in height. "Don’t flatter yourself. Heaven forbid I care about my teammate and her safety," I retorted.

She scoffed at my comeback. “I’m sorry - is my life in any real danger?” She questioned, crossing her arms over her chest.

How was I going to explain the actual direness of the situation? By now she probably thought I was crazy, a victim of the sweltering heat of Tatooine. I sighed, my shoulders sinking. Everything felt so heavy.

“Can we sit?”

“...okay,” she muttered, hesitating to follow me back to the tent. We both needed to get out of the heat.

Once we were comfortable, I began explaining my dream. I recalled every detail I could, and the same cold filled my body as I told her I pulled the trigger.

She was quiet, her eyes not meeting mine. I knew that her furrowed brows and tight lips meant she was thinking; she was trying to figure me out.

“...so that’s it then,” she said, breaking the silence. “It was a dream, and that’s all there is to it. Why would we be worried about anything?”

“Because,” I began, “Jedis dreams can sometimes be tied to real events in the future. For all we know, this could be a vision.”

“And until we know that for sure, we don’t worry about it. Don’t worry,” she joked, “if you try and kill me, I’ll just kick your ass.”

I tried to laugh with her, but it just came out pained. “I’ll try and remember that.”

* * *

The second night on Tatooine was colder than the first. The wind had picked up, and the air was growing ever more frigid.

We slept pressed together as tight as we could. The clothes we had worn on this mission weren’t nearly warm enough for the freezing temperatures in the middle of a desert night. However, they were perfect for the two suns that beat down on us in the day.

Sabine’s breath was hot against my neck, her hair tickling my nose. The young boy that hitchhiked years ago was probably fantasizing about a moment like this.

The current version of myself couldn’t wish harder that I was anywhere else but here.

I had told her I loved her. For the first time.

And it was disregarded the minute it came out of my mouth.

I wasn’t expecting her to reciprocate in any serious way. I had already made my mistake once, and I wasn’t planning on embarrassing myself further.

But I love her. I love Hera, I love Kanan, hell, I even love Zeb. Chopper is up for debate, but even then I couldn’t imagine life on the ghost without the rust bucket.

These people were the closest thing I had to a family, and I often chastised myself for not being thankful enough. I hadn’t ever told my parents how deeply I cared for them, how inspiring they were to me. I didn’t have enough time, I didn’t know I was going to run out of it.

In all fairness, I wasn’t expecting to face this reality at the ripe age of seven.

But I had time with these people. I had more time with this family.

I love her, beyond what appears as a harmless crush on the surface. She’s everything I wish I could be. Sabine might be rough around the edges, but at the end of the day, she’s soft, and kind, and compassionate.

I was okay knowing that she wouldn’t want me in the same way I wanted her.

But at the very least, I wished she held me to the same esteem she did for Kanan and Hera. She and Zeb have such a tight dynamic sometimes, and it’s easy to feel outside of the circle. I wanted to be good enough.

I felt her shift in my arms. She was trembling from the cold wind that leaked into the tent. So was I.

Even that would be good enough.

* * *

"I think I may have just discovered why Tatooine is so hot," I called out to Sabine.

She just kept walking.

I smiled. "Because it has two Suns," I laughed, looking up at both of the bright spheres in the sky.

I heard her sigh in aggravation.

I scoffed and rolled my eyes. "You're no fun," I pouted, readjusting my backpack so it rested more comfortably on my shoulders.

It didn't help much. We had been walking for hours and my body felt like it was already dead. Dead, just dragging around an Ezra inside of it.

"Do you have any idea where we're going?" I asked, looking back up to the bright Suns. "Because," I continued, " I think if we keeping walking in this random direction, we'll find, _more desert!_ " I made sure I spat those last words.

She didn't respond. She only quickened her pace.

"Can you please slow down?” I begged, out of breath from walking up the side of the dune. Sweat clung to my brow, and rolled down my cheeks.

 _Fuck me._ I can literally probe with the force to find people nearby. I voiced my idea to the girl several paces ahead of me, and she finally spoke to me. “That’s funny! That’s really funny actually!” she scoffed. “That implies it’s actually going to work. Don’t give me false hope kid, not funny.”

I’ve been demoted to kid once again.

Ignoring her doubt, I stopped dead in my tracks, and closed my eyes, opening my mind. I probed out with the force, and I felt something. It was faint, but had energy. But it was distinct.

 _People_.

I opened my eyes and turned towards the direction it was coming from.

"Sabine!" I called out. "I found people! Come on!"

"Save it, I’m not indulging in your hallucinations," she snapped, turning to face me. She was gesturing towards the way she was walking. “We had a plan, going this way makes the most sense! The possibility of comms towers on this quadrant-“

"There's no people that way!" I sighed. “I felt something! Can you please have a little faith in me? Can we try this way for a bit?” I pleaded.

Sabine glared at me in frustration, and in consideration.

“Please, the energy I felt isn’t far. If I’m wrong, we can keep going your way.”

Her eyes narrowed. "Fine," she said quickly, bolting past me in the direction I had suggested.

* * *

We continued for about an hour, when I felt I quick warning from the force. The energy I had latched onto as our guiding signal turned sour. My body felt like it was rotting from the inside out.

 _Shit_. Whoever the source of this was, they did not have good intentions.

"Sabine," I muttered, "We need to stop."

"Why?"

"We just have to stop! Something's wrong!"

Then I heard a low rumble. The sound of an engine running.

Fuck.

"Run!" I shouted, and we both bolted in the opposite direction.

I peered over my shoulder, and my eyes went wide when I saw a group of people, all on speeder bikes, chasing us.

How quickly they were closing the gap between us wasn’t promising.

I suddenly felt something hard hit me in the back of the head, and my vision went fuzzy. I tumbled into the sand, my ears ringing.

“Shit!” I exclaimed, my hands grabbing my head. I was miraculously still conscious, but I almost wish the blow had knocked me out. The sharp pain that stung the well made on the back of my head was almost unbearable.

"Get your hands off of me!" I heard Sabine shout. The intensity of my pain dissipated, and was replaced with worry for her. After a few attempts to open my eyes, I managed to make out a tousle that was happening against the dunes, and saw her struggling against a group of...bounty hunters? Traders? Most of them were species I didn't recognize right away.

"GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF HER!" I shouted springing upward and lunging at the alien that held Sabine's wrists behind her back. I didn't make it, because another creature grabbed my arms tightly. I could feel my bones succumbing to the pressure.

"Or wha'? Wha' are you gonna do bout it?" He laughed, while holding my wrists behind my back.

"Aje!" one of the creatures called. "Are these lot I think they are?"

A boy older than me stepped forward, his scruffy black hair above his eyes. He had his speeder helmet in his hands. "It’s funny! They look a bit like the rebels that caused trouble at an imperial distribution post a few days ago," he observed, putting his speeder helmet back on. I think he was the only human in this entire group. “I think the boss will be pleased to know we found such a lucky bunch. Let’s head in.”

I continued to struggle against my captor, when I felt the same object hit me in the back of the head.

I was now on my stomach, my face pressed against the hot sand. Hovering above me was the butt of a blaster.

This blow was harder, so I felt myself slipping, and slipping further into darkness until everything became nothing.

* * *

I woke up to nothing but gray. There was a ringing in my ears, but it was slowly fading away.

The blurriness began to disappear and I could make out my surroundings, but they were unfamiliar.

I sat up, rubbing the sore spot on the back of my head. I was in a boxy room, the walls, ceiling, and floor were all a gray, plastered cement.

It was distinct. This was a prison cell.

However, it wasn’t an imperial cell. Our captors had not turned us in to the empire. This truth was either promising, or demising.

I saw Sabine across the room, sitting in one of the corners, staring down at her hands.

 _Hell no._ We did not come this far to be prisoners.

I bolted up towards the door, and banged my fist against it. I jiggled the handle, but it was locked.

"I demand to speak to someone!" I shouted.

I heard ominous footsteps outside the door. I darted away from the door, not expecting a response so quickly.

The steel door flew open, revealing the same creature that had hit me with the gun. I felt my blood boil beneath my skin as he gave me a sinister grin.

"You wanna talk to the boss? You get to talk to the boss," he sneered, grabbing my shoulder and shoving me out the door.

As I was lead towards my unknown destination, I noticed that the entire hallway we were walking down was lined with jail cells similar to mine and Sabine's. Through the small windows on each door, I could see each cell held two to three people or aliens. They were mostly female, I noted.

I was thrown into the center of a dark room, filled with the people who had ambushed Sabine and I.

Leaning against the wall to my left, was who the hunters called "Aje." He was staring at me in amusement, so I glared back at him.

The room was barely lit, and there were no windows.

I felt a shiver run up my spine. _No_. My hand flew to my belt at the realization that my light saber was probably taken from me. Sure enough, it was gone.

"So," I heard a low, raspy voice said. He sounded amused, whoever he was.

Someone fell to their knees next to me; it was Sabine. I hadn’t meant to drag her into this.

The room was darker where he was standing, so I couldn't see the source of the menacing voice.

"You said you wanted to speak with me?" the anonymous person inquired, beginning to walk towards where Sabine and I sat on the cold cement floor.

"Yeah," I snarled, "I did. What the fuck do you think you're doing? You can't just-"

"I can, actually," he interrupted, "I just did."

He stepped into the light of the room, and my eyes went wide. It was like no species I had ever seen before.

He was tall and broad, his entire body covered in scales, a long, slithery tail dragging behind him. It was a nasty combination of human and reptilian, but more grotesque than what I had ever seen before. He was dressed surprisingly simple, his clothing that of the modest merchant.

I began to fume when I saw my light saber clipped to his belt. He looked down at it, then he unclipped it, eyeing me in amusement. He had caught me staring at my confiscated weapons.

"Quite a marvelous thing. I've never met a Jedi before." He placed it back on his belt. "Let alone owned one."

The word penetrated my body. I furrowed my brow. "Owned?"

He walked closer to us, his hands behind his back. He nodded to Aje, who began to move towards us also.

"I said owned, boy. I own you now. Both of you." He squinted at us. “It’s surprisingly easy to pick a few low life’s out of the desert when you have a good enough team. And I was thrilled!” he exclaimed with enthusiasm. “I was thrilled to discover that we picked up imperial bounty.”

He grabbed my scalp, and yanked my head upwards so I met his gaze.

"What is your name boy?" he said calmly.

I didn't answer, I only struggled against his grip. I stared into his venomous gaze, unwilling to tell him anything.

He clicked his tongue in disappointment. “Well if that’s how it’s going to be-” he trailed off, shrugging his broad shoulders. He nodded to Aje.

I saw Aje take a knife of of his belt, and he immediately pressed it against Sabine's throat. She gasped as the cold metal hovered on her skin.

I pushed myself against the strong grip of the reptile in fury.

“I have no problem killing the both of you,” he sighed. “The empire will take you dead or alive. Hell, I’ll leave you alive long enough to see her head come clean off her body. Your choice.”

The imagery of his threat pushed me over the edge. "Ezra! Ezra Bridger! My name is Ezra Bridger! Just get your hands off of her! Please!" I pleaded, struggling even more against his grip.

"What's her name?" Aje asked, pressing the knife harder against Sabine's neck.

"Sabine Wren! Now LET HER GO!" I begged.

The strange lizard creature released me, throwing me down against the floor. I let out a sigh of relief when Aje released Sabine.

I huffed. "Now explain to me what makes you think you own us!" I demanded. "Who the hell are you people?"

He laughed. His amusement fueled the fire inside me.

"My name," he sneered, "is Mortimer. I’m running a very simple business here. Hiring workers on a planet with such a slow market is damning these days. Runs you dry,” he explains, taking a sit at his cluttered workspace. “I provide my clients with the opportunity to invest credits in a worker once, then never again.”

Sabine's eyes widened. "So you’re a slave trader?" she muttered.

He looked over to Sabine, and smirked at her. “Observant little thing. My work is flexible. servitude, slavery, concubines, whatever the client demands, I provide it.”

The lizard gazes hungrily at Sabine. "A Mandalorian,” he sighs, almost like he’s reliving a fond memory.

He strode over to her. "Clan Wren. Daughter of General Wren."

Her eyes remained at the floor, panic in her breath.

Suddenly his hand flew across across her face, leaving a red mark on her left cheek.

"Don’t fucking touch her!" I shouted, lunging at Mortimer. But before I reached him I felt I large set of hands grab me by the wrists, holding me back.

Mortimer only laughed. Then looked back at Sabine, enjoying the pain written on her face. "It's a shame you weren't your father. That will have to temporarily satisfy me."

He looked over at Aje. "Send them back to their cell," he ordered. Aje nodded and two other creatures came over to escort us back to our cell.

We were thrown against the ground, and the door slammed behind us.

" _SHABUIR_!" Sabine shouted to them, her voice hoarse.

The door locked with a damning click.

The cell was silent for the rest of the night.


	4. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ezra struggles to understand the history between the Wren Clan and Mortimer, and ends up making a deadly trade.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: potentially disturbing content is in this chapter; some more intense violence lies ahead, proceed with caution.

_POINT OF VIEW: EZRA BRIDGER_

It had been a little over a day, and we had only been provided one ration. My body burned with hunger.

Sabine and I hadn’t spoken a word to each other since we were thrown back in here again. The reason, I didn’t know.

Maybe she was upset that I had led us into this mess. Upset that we didn’t do things her way.

Maybe she’s upset that I crashed the Phantom. Maybe she’s upset that I gave out our information without any hesitation to spare her life.

Maybe she’s thinking about the dream, wondering how afraid of me she should really be.

I was tucked in the corner of the lifeless cell, striped down to my shirt and jumpsuit. My armor was confiscated. Sabine was in a similar state, only in her black shirt and grey cargo pants.

She was fiddling with a thread that had spiraled off the hem of her shirt, weaving around her fingers over and over again. Her gaze was soft, and hollow. Hopeless.

I knew the feeling.

I didn’t dare break the silence. The last thing I wanted was to deviate her train of thought just so she could entertain my questions.

Like, why Mortimer was so furious at Sabine's father. Whatever vendetta he has with General Wren must run deep.

Sabine never talked about her family much, or talked about what happened to her clan before joining the Ghost crew. I don’t blame her, discussing the loss the empire has cost us personally doesn’t do anyone any good. It’s better to focus on the people we still have. The people who are still alive.

She probably wishes I wasn’t alive. Or at least, that it wasn’t me that she was stuck with. If it had been Kanan, or Zeb, or Hera, the mission would have been over by now. They would’ve return within hours of leaving, and the new intel would have been intact. Now, the investigation was compromised. Any info we gathered was probably already on the empire’s radar, and was being encrypted and reformulated to make it useless.

To add to that, Sabine and I were captured by trappers that had intentions to either turn us in to the empire, or sell us to some criminal who planned to work us until our death. There’s a high likelihood that we could end up separated, and the rebellion would never find us.

_The rebellion. Were they looking for us?_

I didn’t entertain my hopeful thought for long, remembering that the rebellion doesn’t have the resources to recover members of a small rebel cell. As far that they’re concerned, we’re goners. Dead. Radio silence for more than three cycles is damning.

My head snapped up when the steel door opened. A gross alien with an upturned, boar like snout stood in the doorway; the very same that had beaten me with the butt of the blaster. My welt twitched on the back of my head. I didn't particularly like him.

Sabine and I were both escorted out of the room, and lead down the long corridor.

It was so quiet. In a prison like this I expected outbursts, rebellion, revolts and shouts of freedom, but the air was thick, and the cells were silent. Any hope that once lived here was extinguished long before Sabine and I came here.

I tensed when Sabine was turned towards a corridor on the left, and I was pushed forward.

"Where is she going?" I snapped. I meant to sound firm, but my voice squeaked with panic. The piggish creature only laughed at my fury.

* * *

I was shoved towards the ground in another dimly lit room, my knees hitting the dusty floor with a thump. I uttered a curse, and glared up at the guard that escorted me down the halls.

I was in a new room; it looked similar to the large common area, but this room was slightly smaller, and held a large, square, glass box.

_Where is Sabine?_

"One sided glass," I heard a familiar voice say. He had caught me examining the box. It was quite large, and oddly pristine for such a dirty hole in the ground. "Quite an investment for something that has no practical use. Whoever is in there won't be able to see us," Mortimer smirked.

His reason for telling me this sunk in slowly, and painfully. They were going to do something to Sabine. In that box.

"So you figured it out, judging by the look on your face," Mortimer sneered, stepping forward so he was standing inches away from the glass.

"Why am I out here then?" I asked quietly. “Why wouldn’t you just take her?”

I noticed I wasn’t cuffed. It would theoretically be easy to take him down right here, right now. But we weren’t alone in this room, and without my lightsaber, I wouldn’t make it out with the number of goons crawling in this place. I looked towards his belt, and was surprised to find that the lightsaber was no longer with him.

“I’m not stupid, boy,” he spat, catching my stare. “I wouldn’t put that thing within arms reach of you. Even so, it’s not wise to pull a stunt like that when someone else’s life is in your hands.”

My blood turned cold at his revelation. Why was her life in my hands?

“Why am I out here? Why do you need me?” I questioned, keeping my tone level to appease the reptile. His scales were an ashy brown, and his eyes were a sickly, pale yellow.

"Because you, my boy," he said in amusement, "get to watch."

My eyes went wide.

What would they do to her in that box? We’re they going to kill her? No, they were going to torture her. Make her cry, make her scream.

They would try and break her, and they planned on breaking me by making me watch.

Mortimer had mentioned concubines. For all I know, they planned on doing something vile to Sabine. I tried not to let the image of Sabine’s pain linger in my head.

Her pain...while I watched.

I couldn’t stop myself from falling to my knees. This couldn’t be happening. I couldn’t let this happen. I had to stop him, but I was at a loss. I didn’t know how.

"Why are you doing this to her?" I demanded to know. "Why?”

"Clan Wren will suffer after all the pain they caused me, so I will ensure the last of the lineage experiences as much hurt as I did."

I tensed up.

A horrible, but _possible_ idea dawned on me. "Take me instead," I pleaded hastily.

He didn't reply.

I sprung up from where I was sitting on the ground. "TAKE ME INSTEAD! I’ll give you whatever suffering you need!"

Mortimer spun around, and stormed towards me. "Why? What does that do for me? Do you think I just get off at anybody’s suffering? The purpose of all of this," he gestured to the glass prison, “will be defeated if my revenge isn’t taken out on a member of Clan Wren.”

I gulped. How would I convince him to substitute me in?

I had a better idea. “I’m also Clan Wren.”

I had thought this would be an easy fix. This monster wanted to take his rage out on a Wren? Then I’d simply become one.

“Ha!” He exclaimed. He poked a hard claw into my chest. “Wrong! You are Ezra Bridger, not Ezra Wren. You are of the Jedi, not of Mandalore. Spare me your lies, and enjoy the show.”

He backed up slightly. "Someday you will learn that everything you love will be taken from you," he snarled. “A harsh reality isn’t it? That our negotiation and begging can’t save the ones we care about. General Wren made sure that was a lesson I never forgot. Now, I will return the favor to his beloved daughter.”

I shook my head. "I get that losing people can be hard.” I almost felt empathy for the monster standing in front of the sleek glass case. “But this isn’t going to bring them back, whoever they are. I understand-"

I was cut off by a claw wrapping tightly around my throat. My vision became gray as I weakly rugged against his unforgiving grip.

"Have you forgotten boy, that I own you? You will not speak to me with such condescension. Do not tell me what you know of pain, because I am not interested in hearing it."

As he finally released me, I gasped, letting the air rush back into my lungs. "I am begging you,” I sputtered. “Let me take her place. Whatever you would do to her, double it for me."

His snake eyes shimmered at such an offer. I finally had him listening.

“To make up the difference. Double it for me.”

Mortimer snickered. "You know what your signing yourself up for. Don't say I didn't warn you."

He mulled the thought over a few times before clicking his tongue. "Escort the Mandolorian back to her cell. Take the boy and set him up to take her place."

I heard the guard by the door turn back towards the corridor.

_She's safe._

* * *

I was thrown into the center of the glass room, the sound of my hands hitting the floor echoing off of every wall.

Outside, the guard had removed my shirt so I was left in only my pants.

I expected to be able to see Mortimer standing outside the box, but I only saw myself, staring back with a pair of wide pair of eyes, filled with fear.

My fear was drowned out by relief, however. Nothing was more relieving than knowing Sabine was safe in the cell down the hall.

Before I could think anymore, my hands were in shackles, the chains drilled firmly into the floor.

I could hear my heart pounding.

I stared at the reflection in front of me, waiting, and dreading, every second that passed.

I noticed that the guard was behind me, holding a long, thin whip like weapon.

My blood turned to ice.

I began to struggle against the shackled a little, squirming and fidgeting. It was terrifying to look at my reflection, the guard bringing the whip behind his head in preparation for the first blow. Unable to watch, I shut my eyes, forgetting to breathe.

The first contact was shockingly painful, and my body involuntarily screamed at this new intense pain.

It felt like flames licking my back, tearing the flesh and seeping down through until it reached my bone. It was excruciating.

I didn’t have any time to recover before it came down again.

And again.

And again.

The agains became numberless. I had stopped counting, and I started waiting. I tried to think about something else, anything else.

Hera. She was probably so worried, being the last person to hear us before the crash. Knowing her, she was pestering Kanan about sending out as many search parties as possible.

Kanan. Kanan probably wouldn’t be sleeping. He would stay awake, contacting as many rebel cells on Tatooine as possible so we could be found.

Was Zeb lonely in a bunk by himself?

I remember being lonely. I spent about 7 years of my life alone. Zeb could handle having his own room for a few days. Hell, he enjoyed that luxury long before I came.

I don’t think I’ve felt this alone in a long time. It’s been hard not to, the only other member of my crew unwilling to speak to me.

I wish I knew what was worse. The blood rolling down my back, or knowing that we would probably die here.

I almost felt stupid, taking on such a punishment. I could take all of the torture that was intended for Sabine, and die trying. Leaving her in the jaws of the monster.

I felt numb now. I almost wish I was dead, so I wouldn’t have to suffer before the inevitable.

The entire feeling in my back had disappeared. Either that or he had stopped.

I opened my eyes, unsure how long it had been since I first entered the glass prison.

Sure enough, he was gone. I heard footsteps walk towards the door, and the click of a lock.

I looked up at my reflection, and saw countless tears streaming down my face. My eyes were red and puffy from crying.

I sat up, or at least tried to, and examined the cuts in my back.

I felt such an emptiness in my chest. Any hope that I had entering this underground prison was beaten out of me. Now, I just hoped that I died before I had anything left to lose.

The blood loss finally catching up to me, i decided to lay myself back onto the sterile floors of the cage, the blood beneath me warm and sticky. Was I dying, or just tired?

Whatever I was, I couldn’t fight the heaviness of my eyelids.

* * *

I woke up on the cot in the prison cell I shared with Sabine. It was surprising to feel that my wounds were dressed, and that I was put into a different pair of clothes.

The gesture wasn’t intended to be done out of kindness, I’m sure. Better to let my wounds close so there was more satisfaction in opening them later.

I didn't know if it was night or day. Being underground makes it hard to grasp onto anything real or understandable. I guessed it was late in the cycle, judging my the near pitch black we were sitting in.

Sabine doesn't know about my compromise. I had decided a long time ago that i wouldn’t tell her. For all I knew, she wasn’t aware that she was sentenced to a punishment for her fathers legacy.

I was scared, at a point, that she was brought to the other side of the glass. The physics of the glass cage would’ve prevented me from ever knowing.

However, I remembered the guard was supposed to escort her back to the cell. I hope that it’s the truth.

I shuffled a little on the cot, turning so my back was no longer pressing into the stiff material.

Sabine was sat on the edge of the mattress, looking at the empty wall across the cell.

"Sabine?" I whispered.

She replied with a hum.

"Are we still fighting?" I asked, my voice choking up.

She forced a quiet laugh. “Were we fighting? Were you going to tell me?”

“I’m serious,” I retorted. “We haven’t spoken since we’ve been caught.”

Sabine’s shoulders sunk, and she brought her legs up onto the cot. “I guess I’m just not really sure what to say. I don’t even know how many days we’ve been gone.”

Her eyes still hadn’t met mine.

"Where were you?" she whispered. "When I was alone in here, where were you?"

I sighed. “I didn’t mean to leave you alone. I’m sorry-“

She crossed her arms in frustration. "Are you not going to tell me?" Her eyes narrowed.

“I promise, there’s nothing to tell." I hesitantly put my hand out to take hers

“Can we just talk about something else?”

Her hands used to always be covered my her gloves, same as mine. Now, her bare hand was warm in my palm.

The only warmth I would probably know until I was slaughtered for crimes I didn’t commit.

I could feel tears rushing up to my eyes as I remembered how alone I felt in the glass prison. I wish I could tell her. I wish I could cry into her arms as she reassured me that she was _here_ and everything was _okay_.

The universe granted me one small pardon, at least. She was here, and her eyes were soft, and her hands were warm. The only piece I had left of the family I left behind.

“Ezra?” she asked, squeezing my hand.

I swallowed hard, the words fighting to stay in my throat. “I just feel so alone, here in this place. I finally found a family to replace the one I lost, and instead of dying alongside them, I’m dying alone, and afraid-“

I couldn’t fight the sobs I was heaving. Everything felt so heavy.

“Hey hey hey hey-“ Sabine soothed, her free hand caressing my cheek. “No one,” she said firmly, “is dying here. Not if I have anything to say about it.”

She wiped away the warm tears rolling down my cheeks. “You said you wanted to talk about something else. So let’s talk do that, okay?” she prompted, laying down next to me on the flimsy cot.

I managed to catch my breath after my crying came to a slow.

She started rambling about the picture she started in her room, and how excited she was to finish it when we got back to the Ghost.

She even offered to let me help.

For a moment, I pretended hopes were high, and agreed to promises I was afraid we couldn’t keep.

Pretending was almost as good as the real thing.


End file.
